Dear Girlfriends,

As I continued on the path of my reboot, I realized another gift: The insight that receiving is a form of giving.

For me, giving has always been easier than receiving. Perhaps, it’s because in order to receive you have to succumb to the reality that you need help, and then you have to humble yourself to accept help. Or, perhaps, for me, at least, giving was somewhat selfish – I always wanted to feel the joy that comes along with it.

But, when I got sick, I needed help. I accepted help. And, I let others enjoy the happiness and satisfaction that comes from giving – with true appreciation for their selflessness.

Then, I learned about the healing power of forgiveness – another gift.

As I faced my life-threatening illness, my heart began to soften, and I recognized it takes a lot of energy to maintain a spirit of anger and blame; my energy drain was exacerbated by the fact that the person I most needed to forgive was my mother.

Now was the time for me to stop trying to answer the painful question as to why my mother didn’t leave my verbally and sometimes physically-abusive father. Now was the time for me to move on from the fact that I was thrust into the position of care-taker from my earliest memory. Because now was the time for me to break the news of my diagnosis to my 71-year old mother.

Three days after my call, she left her home and her life in another city, in another state, and came to stay with my family – indefinitely. And we began anew.

I gave my mom the opportunity to be the doting mother she had always wanted to be, and I learned what it was like to be the child; my mother took care of me – she really and truly took care of me.

And, to receive her gift of care, I had to put the past and unanswered questions behind me.

The greatest gift of all, came the day my oncologist said the cancer was gone. I felt like I was born all over again. But, this time around, I had a new perspective and renewed appreciation for my life, my husband, my children, my family, my friends, and, most important, the Lord. Perspective and appreciation I solely attribute to my reboot.

I have been blessed beyond any measure I thought possible. I am now a living testimony to His Power and His Grace, and will joyfully spend the rest of my life showing others His Love.

Appreciating the blessing of my reboot,
One of Ellen’s many girlfriends