Dear Girlfriends,

Last week was my birthday. I say last week because I celebrated for days on end. Because I turned 50.

All my life, I've waited for this important day. Don't ask me why, but 16, 21, 30, and 40 were not particularly important milestone birthdays for me. Although they represent an age when there is a shift in opportunity, responsibility - and at 40, shifting boobs and buns - I can't say that any were ages that I looked forward to becoming. But 50. This one is different.

This is the age I've always wanted to be. I am a big girl, now.

At 50 I am fully aware of all that is right and wrong with the world; but at 50 I know that not all things can be fixed, and only a precious few need to be fixed by me.

At 50 I have perspective on what is important and what is insignificant; and I know at 50 to focus my energies and resources only on things that are meaningful and lasting.

At 50 I know what it is to invest in myself or to play the martyr; and at 50 I have learned to really be kind to me.

At 50 I realize that I can choose to read this month's Vogue or the Holy Bible; and at 50, I long to know the mind and ways of God much more than this season's color.

Our stay-young, look-young, be-young culture has stripped away the pride of milestone birthdays after 30. It's not that I don't want to look and be at my best - don't get me wrong. I have a rendezvous with "Travis" (the treadmill) every morning at 6:45 a.m. I have nearly spent the equivalent of the national budget deficit on creams, potions, and procedures to look "dewy and radiant". And you won't find me wearing sensible shoes; I'll continue to shop 'til I drop to find the best deal on a great pair of heels (preferably Jimmy Choos). But I won't be defined by those things that only defined me when I was younger. Today, more so than ever, I will be defined by the condition of my heart and the wisdom of my soul.

Because this is the age I've always wanted to be. I am a big girl, now.

Celebrating liberation,

Ellen

Posted by Ellen on October 22, 2009 10:44 AM  |  Category: A Note from Ellen

Yes, Ellen.
I felt the same way...actually began preparing for the 50+ years a year before the big 50.
It's a wonderful, challenging, and centering awareness to live more intentionally - and I like it!
Welcome to the club!
And belated Happy Birthday!

Posted by Sharon Leavitt | October 22, 2009 11:03 AM

Ellen,

I love your posts and look forward to every one of them. This one is close to my heart because next year I too will turn 50. Your post captures beautifully what I have been thinking and I feel better already! Enjoy and celebrate this wonderful milestone, and thank you again for your messages.

Posted by Cheryl | October 22, 2009 11:18 AM

Happy, happy birthday Ellen! Couldn't agree more with your comments about the enlightenment that comes with being 50 (or over, in my case). I love not caring what others think! Onward through the fog, I always say. And here's to many, many more milestones.
Lu

Posted by Lu Herrin | October 22, 2009 11:32 AM

I remember you told me years ago that you were looking forward to being your best at 50 and you have accomplished that so well. Our birthdays are in the same month October, a good sign. I just turned 60 and I love it. No hangups about my age. Life is good. Hope your birthday was wonderful. Love Ina

Posted by Ina | October 22, 2009 11:51 AM

I turned the big "50" this year too. I always look forward to reading your articles because you always write it head on. It is adventurous and exciting to finally be a big girl now. Welcome to the club and I hope you had a wonderful birthday. I celebrated mine in Miami, Fl back in February on the beach with my daughter, son-in-law and 3 month old granddaughter. Love, Kellye

Posted by Kellye | October 22, 2009 12:08 PM

Happy Birthday Ellen. Reading your article today made me think of the old saying, "It's your birthday and we get the gifts!". Thank you for sharing these gifts with us.

Posted by Pat | October 22, 2009 12:27 PM

Ellen, happy birthday to you! When I grow up, I want to be just like you! I'm 33 now, so I have a lot of learning to do before I can be a big girl. Keep the laughter and wisdom coming.

Posted by Brandy | October 22, 2009 12:38 PM

All birthdays are a great time for reflection and milestone ones prove spectacular in their insight.

Of course, your insight occurs all year long and we are the better for sharing your journey.

I've always whined "Another birthday and no pony!" So this year my husband surprised me with riding lessons. Wow - smiles my face, happies my heart, makes me a child again.

Posted by Leslie | October 22, 2009 4:07 PM

Ellen,
Perfect timing from one Big Girl Now to one who's going to be one just around the corner. The 40s have been such a life-changing time and I am so anxious to enter the 50s and see if indeed I can be as wise and grown up as I should be.

Thanks for inspiration!

Posted by Carla | October 22, 2009 9:17 PM

Ellen-

Happy 50th! You are too fabulous for words! Very fun to read your wisdom and share in your journey. What's so exciting to me is that as we all evolve, our milestones are shifting - higher and higher. I'm totally inspired by that. I just completed my maser's in spiritual psychology and am continuing master's courses this year, "Consciousness, Health, and Healing" and the things I've learned in the last 2 years...it's astounding and life-changing! I'd love to connect with you the next time I'm in Dallas - which as per usual will be at the holidays. If you see my sissy, Michelle Markey - give her a hug for me will you? :-)

Love and Light Ahead-

Dawn
36 and improving with age...

Posted by Dawn | October 22, 2009 11:13 PM

I thought of you on your Birthday. I have it marked on my calendar - but that does not help much if I don't send you a card, does it? But I did think about you,and I hope that you enjoy being a big girl now. You are still just a kid to me. Anyway have a very good year. Luv, Bobbie

Posted by B. Stegal | October 23, 2009 10:09 AM

Happy 50th Aunt Ellen. Welcome to the club!

Posted by LuAnn | October 26, 2009 10:33 PM