Fake it.
Dear
Girlfriends,
Here's a
novel idea for some of us: fake it for a change. Be yourself.
I have a
darling child in my life named Samantha who, I have no doubt, you will someday watch
as she accepts her Academy Award for Best Actress. At four years old, this
little gal can become a character
faster than you can load a DVD. She changes from costume to costume, scene to
scene, accent to accent, as she entertains you with her incredible wit and
conviction (on cue). But Samantha knows who she is when she takes off her
Cinderella dress. She doesn't stay in character so long that she forgets who
she really is. Unfortunately, many of us have. We have faked it for so many
years that we're out of touch with our own authenticity.
I have
lived my life in two very different worlds, for both of which I am deeply
grateful. It's because I have lived in these two worlds that I can state, as
fact, that I know there are at least six groups of women who suffer from the
ability to be genuine. They are (in no particular order):
- Women who live in an upper
socio-economic class (rich girls)
- Women who live in depressed
financial circumstances (poor girls)
- Women who aggressively climb
the corporate ladder (working girls)
- Women who invest their heart and
soul in the raising of their children (mommy girls)
- Women who spend their Sunday
morning in church (good girls)
- Women who spend their Sunday
morning in some Joe's (what's his last name?) bed (bad girls)
Did I leave
anyone out? Nope. I think this is it.
Being a
totally authentic person is absolutely frightening for some of us. It's scary because
it means that we can't hide behind a fantasy to guard our heart. It might mean
becoming transparent, which equates to putting away the status; the piety; the Botox;
the executive title; the perfect kids; the money; the one-night-stands; the Gucci bag...
We want to
be accepted. We want to be admired. We fear ridicule - to our face or behind
our back; thus we create a fictional character that we believe is more engaging
and attractive than our true self. But, she's not. She's just the opposite. The
fictional character most often created is plastic and shallow, and an authentic
woman can smell a fake before their first hello.
If you've
been in character too long, you may have forgotten how to fake it and be
yourself. These are my three best tips:
Reveal:
Tell others something about yourself that is deprecating but humorous. Others
love to hear that you're not perfect, that you make stupid mistakes, but that
you don't take yourself so seriously that you can't laugh at your own
nuttiness.
Respond:
Authentic people listen with their heart and respond with their eyes. Sometimes
it's just simple eye contact that says a thousand words. The eyes are indeed
the window to the soul.
Relax: Get
comfortable. Last year, I led a women's Bible Study and as a matter of course,
we took off our shoes. Pedicure or no, together we walked barefooted through
the book of Daniel - and it was amazing to watch the walls come down when the
heels were kicked off.
We are what we believe we are. -
C.S. Lewis
So who do
you believe you are? Is she a different woman than you allow others to know?
You can't
live intentionally until you fake it; try being yourself for a change.
Kicking off
my shoes,
Ellen
Posted by Ellen on October 9, 2007 2:14 PM
| Category: Living Intentionally
|
