Dear Girlfriends,


Are you depressed?

Wow! I just put it out there in black and white, didn't I?

I think a lot of women wake up at their mid-life mark feeling tired; burned out by work or family, or both. Some feel lost and alone; the kids are grown and gone while hubby still has his work. Others have told me they feel irrelevant; the world just seems to be passing them by. After a while, the more we think about it - the deeper we tumble into our despondency.

We all know that depression can be caused by hormonal imbalances, or brought on by a trauma or crisis. But depression can also be triggered when we fail to balance our self-centered obsessions (yes, I know this is a strong word but let's be honest and call a spade a spade) with thoughts or actions invested on behalf of others.

My girlfriend Dina told me a great story about her mom, Patricia. Pat had been a little "down in the dumps," with too much time on her 73-year-old hands. Through Dina's sister, Pat learned about a woman with terminal cancer who needed someone to drive her to her chemotherapy treatments. Not thinking much of it, Pat volunteered to drive her one week. Then she volunteered to drive her the next week, and the next, and the week after that. Dina said that her mom's attitude changed overnight due to this young mother's spirit of gratitude for every day of life she was given to spend with her three children, the youngest only four years old.

Pat's new sense of balance between self-concern and other-concern gave her a second wind. But here's something else important that happened: Pat, at seventy-three years old, is still role-modeling, providing yet another example of living an authentic, purposeful life for her grown daughters and granddaughters.

Dina is so proud of her mom that she was beaming through the phone as she told me the story. Knowing that her mother is providing this wonderful service for this young dying mother, Dina could hardly get the story out fast enough. She said, "Mom's not investing a lot of time or money - but for three hours a week, she's making a huge difference in this woman's life. And this woman is such a great influence for my Mom. I couldn't be more proud of her for stepping up and saying, 'I'll take her.'"

Girlfriend, are you spending too much time in your "oh, woe is me" world? If we're not careful, our self-centered focus can blind us to the needs of others, causing our wee problems to loom much larger than they really are. Worrying about yourself and concentrating on the needs of others cannot cohabitate in the same mind, at the same time.

Move out of the darkness and into the light by turning your depression into action. Someone needs you.

Making my problems look small,

Ellen

Posted by Ellen on July 11, 2007 10:49 AM  |  Category: Catching My Second Wind