Mr. Perfect
Dear Girlfriends,
I seriously considered writing this Truth Nugget with only these three words:
He doesn't exist.
But I decided - no....some of you clearly need a bit more explanation. I know this because I've read your "want ad":
Single, 30-something female looking for tall, dark, and handsome; must be well educated; professionally successful or at least demonstrates the capacity to earn mid-six figures in the next two years; cooks - preferably gourmet - and grocery shops; is the life of the party; longs to father our three perfect children; loves a good chick flick.
I've read the "want ads" from my married girlfriends, too:
Married, 40-something female looking for someone else (but this time with a sub-40 inch waist); demonstrates his tolerance for debt by looking the other way after my Saturday afternoon shopping frenzy at the mall; enjoys meatless dinners; knows better than to answer honestly when I ask, "Does this make my butt look big?"; adores the three rude teenagers I will bring into this marriage as if they were his own; watches anything other than sports.
Whether single or married, the Pushmi-Pullyu of Perfection can turn a high-achieving woman's quest for Mr. Right into a never-ending search for Mr. Perfect. I'm afraid we often rule out or wring out our Mr. Rights looking for the perfect man to fulfill our vision of a perfect relationship. Girlfriends, although Steve will disagree with me on this - I'm here to testify that Mr. Perfect doesn't exist.
Am I asking you to settle? You know I would never! But our Pushmi-Pullyu of Relationship Perfection is often way out of control, with expectations that can never be filled. What I'm asking is for you to consider rewriting your "want ad," taking into consideration those attributes that define him more than refine him. What would happen to your love affair if you wrote:
Self-confident but not-so-perfect woman looking for a man who is looking for the love of his life; silly enough to make me laugh and strong enough to challenge me when I'm out of line; willing to help me support our family; daring enough to put up with our out-of-control children; fights bigotry and hatred; demonstrates his love for God through his display of humanity for those who are down and out; will watch a chick flick under extreme duress.
Rewrite your "want ad" and take another long look at Mr. Right. Don't let your Pushmi-Pullyu of Perfection drive him crazy, too.
Mrs. Right,
Ellen
Posted by Ellen on June 19, 2007 2:37 PM
| Category: The Pushmi-Pullyu of Perfection
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