That One Nasty Voice - Getting the "Stuff" Out of Your Ears
Dear Girlfriends,
This is the last in our series on cutting the clutter. I hope, like me, you've thought about the physical and mental things that create undue stress: the stuff in your house that keeps you from relaxing; the stuff in your schedule that's often not even your stuff but causes you to run late and procrastinate; and the stuff in your eye that creates an unnecessary need to compete. Today, let's examine the stuff that clutters our spirit: that one nasty voice.
I read an interesting editorial in the Dallas Morning News a few months ago and was so inspired by the woman's courage that I had to write her. She was exploring a controversial subject, as well as addressing the negative - no, NASTY - email she had received from a reader. She went on to share, exposing her vulnerability, how this really affected her.
Is it not amazing that we hold so tightly to that one voice - somewhere from our distant past or maybe an opinion expressed just yesterday? Regardless of the number of accolades and positive reinforcement from others, that one statement, sometimes made in passing and sometimes not even meant to be hurtful, shapes our perception of our self or our performance.
For this reason, I don't believe employee annual reviews are helpful. Many times, I have carefully considered the 10 objectives for the employee review and marked "Excellent!" on seven of the objectives, "Very Good" on two, and "Needs Improvement" on the one remaining. What do you think the employee heard during the review? Yep. Only the one thing that needs improvement. All of the "atta boys" and "atta girls" went right out the window, right along with their self-confidence.
I dropped an email to the DMN columnist after reading her article, sharing with her my respect for her thinking, her courage, and her authenticity. She replied to me how wonderful it was to get "love" mail rather than hate mail. I wondered to myself, "How many love mails does it take to negate that one nasty-gram?" From my experience with employee reviews, I know it's greater than 9 to 1.
The LORD is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18
Girlfriends, we have to be determined to get the "stuff" out of our ears. Focus on those who appreciate you and respect your efforts. Don't let that one voice undermine who you're supposed to be or what you're destined to accomplish.
Stocking up on Q-tips,
Ellen
Posted by Ellen on April 10, 2007 12:21 PM
| Category: Cutting the Clutter
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