Dear Girlfriends,

Do you ever feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders? Are you stressed out because there's just not enough of you to go around? If so, you'll be able to relate.

It was a bit uncharacteristic of me, but a couple of weeks ago, I had a total meltdown. Yep - driving down the road - I couldn't see a thing for all the rain (and the sun was shining to beat the band).

Here's what had happened just minutes before: I was running late to a meeting. Not just any meeting; this one was with our son who is going through rehab. As I headed out the door, it dawned on me that I was double booked - in addition to the commitment with Scott, I had two conference calls scheduled for the afternoon. As mothers do, my head was swimming - when had I last called our daughter? It's always the child who is NOT in crisis that seems to get the short end of the stick. My cell phone was ringing off the hook, as I was fishing around my purse for my keys as I headed to the car. It was while we were standing there in the parking lot that Steve and I had a major communication snafu. He implied that I was having an "all about me" moment.

OH . . . PLLLEEEEAAASSSEEEE.

All about me? ALL ABOUT ME?

It took me until about 7:00 p.m. that evening to realize he was right. I was having an "all about me" life, because I had encouraged others to depend and rely on me to the point that it wasn't healthy - for any of us. The next morning, I made some changes.

I took our daughter, Shauna, up on her previous offer to play a bigger role in the family as we encourage Scott back to a healthy life (the unconditional love she pours on Scott has proved to be far more motivational than anything I could ever say or do).
I delegated major projects, those that originally I thought only I could do, to my team members (who, by the way are doing a beautiful job).
I rearranged conference calls and my work load to allow me a more sane schedule, one in which I'm not always running late (yes, I'm actually accomplishing more, not less).
I forfeited my role as family social director (I found that other family members are happy to call and make a reservation for Sunday brunch).

Your wisdom and your knowledge they have deluded you;
for you have said in your heart, "I am, and there is no one besides me.'
Isaiah 47:10

I know from experience that I cannot be all things to all people and that when I try - I fail them all. Instead of being light, energy and a positive force to anyone, I had become a drain. By spreading myself too thin, I was making a mess of my relationships. Now, instead of being stressed that everyone needs me at once, I can truly glory in the blessing for all the people I love and who love me.

I don't know the key to success but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby

Oh! And there was one other thing I did that morning. I made an appointment with my colorist. The next day, I spent 20 precious processing minutes under a heat lamp with nothing more than my solitary thoughts. This is why I'm a bottle blonde. Every six weeks, come rain or shine - it really is all about me!

Chilling out,
Ellen

Posted by Ellen on April 24, 2007 1:41 PM  |  Category: Spread Too Thin