Dear Girlfriends,

I'm sure we all agree that "health scares" are not fun. However, there is one positive affect they seem to bring about. Some of my friends and family members have been diagnosed with the big "C" and with the exception of one precious soul - all have beat it. Many have said their Cancer Fight helped them reconsider their priorities. I got my wakeup call in 2002 when my doctor told me he thought I had MS. Although he called it wrong, (I don't have MS) for seven days, awaiting the final diagnosis, I had the opportunity to assess my life as it was and what it might be like for the next many years living with the dreaded disease. That time of reflection gave me the opportunity to realize that my hectic schedule was burdening my handbag.

Committees, boards, and baking brownies for the bake sale.
My problem is that I don't feel obligated to serve. . . I want to help! But when I found myself grousing about the very thing I volunteered for I had to stop and ask myself if I wasn't over-committed. During that time of self-reflection, I was serving on three boards, running two companies, teaching Sunday School, serving as a Stephen's Minister, and traveling all over the country - in addition to my most important roles as wife and mother. Doing a 100-pound bench press was easier than carrying my purse around! Slowly, I began to remove things from my schedule, one-by-one, so I could find what I needed for today. And what I needed for that day was to wake up feeling joyful, not burdened. It's a mature, self-aware woman who learns to say, "thank you for asking, but no I can't ......" CAUTION: those of us who are Triple-Type-A will fall off the wagon within months if we're not alert. Be careful that too many volunteer efforts don't sneak back into your handbag.

Kid stuff.
This topic is touchy for many but I think we should at least explore the idea that maybe our kids' commitments are wearing us out. Some kids' schedules rival those of the average CEO! I'm not a child expert but I'm fairly certain it will not damage their psyche nor will it thwart their opportunity to be the next Bill Gates if you tell them, "not today." Actually, your children might benefit from a bit of down time, themselves. What do you need for today? Children who are thriving. And they will thrive without dance lessons, piano lessons, soccer practice, and French lessons - all before TUESDAY! I'm sure I'm showing my age here but I thought most people subscribed to the "one extra-curricular activity rule per semester". GEEZ - not ten! If tomorrow you learned that something was going to seriously alter your lifestyle or health - what would you change? Where and how would you spend your time to better nurture your children? I bet it's not sitting behind the wheel of a car. It's a mature, self-aware mom who learns to say, "that's a great idea, but we'll need to wait until next semester to consider that."

Weekends that make the workweek look like a walk in the park.
Families, and husbands/wives in particular, don't have enough down time these days. From demanding careers, to the aforementioned kid stuff, to packed social calendars, there seems to be no time to just be still. Do you even remember how to just sit and talk with your husband over a glass of wine? What about taking a Saturday morning to sit outside and read the paper together? Steve and I can sometimes over-commit our weekends causing us to not feel refreshed on Monday. However, I found if we reserve one night (Friday or Saturday) and one day (Saturday or Sunday) to "quiet time" we're totally renewed by Sunday evening. Some women I've talked to feel guilty about this. Girlfriends, give yourself a pass! You don't have to be productive 100% of every minute of every day. On the contrary, if you can learn to afford yourself this "luxury" - your productivity will soar over the next 72 hours. It's a mature, self-aware woman who says, "I'm a valuable contributor to my employer and my family and to remain valuable, I must feed myself some quiet time."
I want you to look in your purse. What's in there that you don't need for today? What can you take out? There has to be one thing that can go undone. There must be something that can be accomplished by someone else. Girlfriends, that knot in your right shoulder is because your purse is too heavy with excess burdens and commitments. Take something out of that purse. We're not getting a do-over.

Peace,
Ellen

Posted by Ellen on January 23, 2007 2:13 PM  |  Category: What's In Your Purse?