Dear Girlfriends -

I believe there is nothing in the world like the feeling you get when you perform a random act of kindness. I almost feel guilty for the pleasure I gain when I am helpful to someone. So if it feels so darn good, I wonder why we stop and think before we just do? Are we afraid we'll look too soft? Are we afraid we might be embarrassed if the offer for help is refused? Or, do we talk ourselves out of helping by drawing a fact-less conclusion that the person will be "fine"?

I believe we rob ourselves of joy by not giving something away - every day.

Most people limit their gifts to either money or time. Both are critical but there are other things that are important, too. Such as:

• Encouragement. Let's face - we're all faced with challenges every day. That's why I started writing these letters. Girlfriends need encouragement. Many of you give away encouragement by forwarding my notes of encouragement onto your girlfriends and some of you write me and cheer me on. What inspiration I gain from you!

• Parking spaces. I park on the last row. Well...yes...my husband, Steve, has conditioned me to do this over the years to protect my car from door dings but what I found is that by my taking a parking place on the last row - other people like moms with kiddos and elderly people can park closer to the door. I give away parking spaces and keep my husband off my fanny at the same time! Both bring me joy. 

• An extra pair of hands. Ever see a mom struggling at the grocery store or at the airport with her kids, bags, doors, car seats, etc.? I always smile, ask gently if I can lend a pair of hands - and have never been refused. The mother looks at me like I'm some sort of angel. What brings me joy about this? I usually get to hold the baby!

• Your seat. This one gave me my biggest jolt of joy, ever. I had the opportunity to give my first class seat to an Army Private coming home for leave from the war in Iraq. Every minute I sat in his middle seat, from Dallas to Portland was pure joy. What an honor it was for me to serve him, if only for 3 hours and 59 minutes. Wow! I could have floated off that plane. (And he was pretty tickled, too.)

• Forgiveness. I give forgiveness. Because I make mistakes, I know others do, too. I've found when I give forgiveness - it's me - not the other person who benefits. Forgiveness is freeing and being free is joyful.

Some people confuse this with being nice but it's not. It's totally selfish because there's nothing like the rush of joy when you give something away. So what do you give away?

Being selfish today,
Ellen

Posted by Ellen on December 26, 2006 1:36 PM  |  Category: Finding Your Joy