Dear Girlfriends,

One way we misplace our joy is by not being present in the now. We spend so much time thinking about what should have happened, where we need to be, what we need to do and how we're going to do it, that we forget about right now. We're not going to get it back, so why are we such poor stewards of this moment?

Notice, I didn't say be in THE moment. I want you to be in this moment. I want you to begin to recognize when you have a "this moment" with your family, your peers at work, your friends. I've found that it is very difficult for some of us to be in this moment because we're constantly plagued with thoughts of yesterday or tomorrow.

I only learned to be in this moment about three years ago. I am the ultimate multi-tasker and have come to realize that this is not a strength but really a character flaw. I learned as a result of one of our company retreats what it really means to be present and have learned to focus on this philosophy because I've found it brings me immense joy.

I wasted precious, precious moments with my family by not stopping to take in the details of an everyday exchange. Oh, the kids had my full attention when the tears were flowing or when they slammed the bedroom door! (Which only happened once. At our house if you slammed the door, their Dad would remove it from the frame to ensure it didn't get in their way, again.) But the little things that make a conversation so precious - facial expressions, giggles, or a well-kept secret finally shared- sometimes went without my full-registration of the moment. Why? I was too busy, trying to do other things. Were the other things more important? No, of course not. So why didn't I stop whatever else I was doing and be in that moment?

Sometimes, our past haunts our now. What happened yesterday, last month or when you were 12-years old cannot be undone. It happened; and it was probably sad AND unfair. Thinking, dwelling, reliving the past will rob you of joy. Joy is a state of contentment that cannot be affected by outside forces. Yesterday is an outside force.

There will always be challenges with the kids, issues with the boss, home appliances that go out at the worse time, and a girlfriend that got her feelings hurt. If we are constantly thinking about the next moment and what we need to do, how can we possibly enjoy and be in this one? You will have another moment to deal with life - life-stuff is not going away - it will wait for you. (Darn it!)

To excel at being in this moment you will want to turn off the TV when your grown kids come over. You'll turn off the stove when they're in the kitchen with you, after school. (It's OK - dinner can be late.) You will turn off your mobile phone when you go to lunch with a girlfriend. You will learn to ssshh the constant chattering in your head. Being in this moment will allow you to see, hear and feel in a whole new way. And that my friend - is pure joy.

Being in this moment with you,
Ellen

Posted by Ellen on December 5, 2006 1:25 PM  |  Category: Finding Your Joy